laxsurfrchick

05:45 pm: omg omg omg omg











WUT THE FUCK DID I DO LAST NITE?



FUCK FUCK WHERE IS MY PHONE?

10:00 pm: so ive skipped a week or two about my adventures but i dont think im going to continue writing in this very much




so ya



lata

05:09 pm: sun
i did go out
i went to alberts
god
mon
got out o school early ear appointment
went to lindsays hockey game
andy was there and he talked to ree n i
victoria n nathan were there
then rick got the key and we chilled n talked at alberts wo him there
tues
had a lacrosse game
i think i went out somewhere
weds
lacrosse practice
4/20 got airica and went over to alberts
chilled w brit went to seal
thurs
got into a fight with rick and i ended it just friends no more
fri
um went shoppin w ree for tracis late gift that ree hadnt gotten yet
then went to stephs
then went to the dance w katie victoria lindsay jen traci n sarah
left
um got retarted and got into a fight w this chick
ended up at alberts crazy madness went down
sat
went to see odd project w becca n ree
alberts
sun
sick
mon
still sick
im disgusted at myself as well
i broke my rule



I AM NOT GOING OVER TO ALBERTS FOR A LONG TIME


END OF STORY

NO MORE

im so happy we dont have school tuesday through thursday yes!!!!

tyler made me sad today

i need to talk to him
gah

08:13 pm: better than spring break....a good week
mon
i really cant remember wut i did
tues
team dinner at ali's
alberts w rick
wed
laX game
went to seal w melissa to see ivan n kevin
we went on a quest to the liqour store
then to get cigs n a liter on main
walked on teh beach while ivan talked to this old woman about church
quest to find kevin horse he drew when he was a kid
ivan found a poncho
went to ivans boat
jose was espical
thurs
got linds n ree went to seal
met up w Kevin , tommy,danny n some other guy
md didn’t have school the next day
we smoked on the beach which was chill
andy came
then matt n ken stopped by
we chilled in dannys truck while waiting for john we smoked a j
then when he came some more
then we talked and went home
fri
tried to meet up w Melissa
got andy
went to donovans
then went to the party in laguana
so many ppl
ken,ivan,Kevin,roshelle,andy,kyle,marc,and kyiome were all there
then I ran into ppl from my school
it was half md n half nhhs
I ran into david, chewy, kirk and matt ect
To many to list
It was so much fun until there was a fight and some guy that was my friend I guess I still haven’t heard who got stabbed all along his hand
Party was over we rolled
Went into ivans car and we went to carls jr nearby to wait it out
Then went and got linds n Victoria
Went to ivans chilled there
Then Nathan came and we went back to laguana to sit on the top and look out over the city while watching the stars at 3 in the morning
I was running low on gas and as we barely were making it back to cdm a cop pulled me over
And it was so funny he had no legit reason and so I was like do u want to test me after he asked if I had anything to drink haha I know how to handle cops so I didn’t get a ticket

U just cant give me a ticket wut was he thinking

Anyways so we got gas then went to dennys at 4
Then when linds and I are almost to alberts another cop pulls me over

And once again I hadn’t done anything wrong and he gave me shit back cause I was giving him attitude

But once again I know how to handle cops so of course I didn’t get a ticket lol
Like I said u just cant give me a ticket

Stupid pigs

Sat
Went to gelndale
Missed the dance production
got Victoria, jen and eddie
Went to a party in Irvine
Got to see Daniel my English friend ahhhhhh I love him
Met up w Melissa and linds
We just chilled there
Melissa left
John came and him Daniel and I smoked a j
Went to alberts cause Victoria n linds didn’t want to leave for some unlogical reason
Um talked to leigha n Amanda
They are chill
Rick gave me shit
Like albert said I get the most if his abuse lol
Then watched family guy n passed out after much laughter
Sun
I pretty much wasted time cause I slept little ive been talking to people and watching movies and doing things with my family
I might go out 2nite

12:41 pm: spring break....not that great
we ended up not goin to palm springs and san o is closed eh
monday
after i left alberts on sunday nite i knew i would be sent to las vegas
so monday i was once again surrounded by casinos and boredom at its best
it was basically like rehab
my mom dad n i stayed in henderson with my grandparents who i hadnt seen in awhile
they were exactly the same as i last saw them except that grandpa was a bit out of it and grandma has gotten seriously underweight more than ever before but they understand that they wont be around that much longer so they are taking care of everything

i find nothing enjoyable in las vegas i dont understand all the hype about it
even when in 21 n legal i will not go to vegas im sick of everythin about it
ive been to every god damned casino at least 5 times
they arent that impressive anymore

i dont really like cigarette smoke i hate the noise i hate the slots i dont like playin cards and i dont find gambling fun at all
its just a waste of money.....and they never want you to leave there are no windows and clocks in casinos

so monday all i didnt was get put into the house while my mom and i had " a talk"
about my life and if i was going to shape up or ship out
but i knew i would get the car and the phone back which i did
and we settled my future life and wut not it was gheey
i hate it when they sit down and talk to you like you were five
its all about control and my mom wants to be in control but theres no way ill let her its my life and I do wut I want I should be the one determining my futur and thats wut i told her

i would have died without my music cause thats all there is to do there
my grandparents just watch re runs of games shows that we all know the answers to by now
and the sad thing is they are really the only relatives that i know and when we get into the room i have nothing to say to them ....but my mom does about my behavior and my grandma doesnt care

so i think we went to get cold stone at excalibar
how delicious smoke flavored ice cream .....hate vegas
tues
i read n listend to music and drove around with my family getting things together for when my grandparents pass away
i watched movies
weds
did more work n driving
more music more talk
went to fat burger.....never going there again
at a casino of course
thurs

went back to newport....thank god
had a mill missed calls
went out met w the linds jen victoria geoff ryan n david
we went to chill at random places umm went to jack in the box didnt eat but watched people
went over to alberts
talked w rick n albert
fri
lets seee
went over to mats’s house…..then went over to alberts house
rick, tony,albert,linds,jen, Victoria n I were there
then Melissa and Kristen came over
we all just chilled as always then we went back to mats’s house
drank and talked
tyler n came over
Kristen n ppl went to dennys while I stayed and sat w rick
I was glad to see Kristen it had been a bit since I had seen her it was good to chill w her
And Melissa cause I hadn’t seen them both and we all are mellow
Sat
Got ree went w Melissa to a party in orange
Met up w john and went to starbucks
Went to alberts
Drank talked watched thought met some new people
Next door went to the party
Melissa had to go
Then ree n john got me hash browns
Ree wut a silly animal she was more on me than john
Plus I got a massage talk about a plus lol
My fav<333
I saved rees life yet again from a biotch
I talked to john and 2cv……..i miss them so much and I guess we are chillin next weekend and johns going to take me surfing yeah
I talked to a lot of people last nite
Sunday
Ive realized somethings
And I am not going to alberts for a long time
I want to chill with new people and party like I used to get into cute clothes look hott and be with someone and be with tyler mostly
Ive been spending too much time with rick
If they want me then they can call me cause I kno
I want to experience new things
Do something fun n crazy

Eh I have to go to planned parenthood soon and its for extra credit too and just in case for tyler n I
Im not sure who I want to go with cause michelle n aliee want to go w me but I dunno if I want to take rick or tyler ill see
So I might be able to go out 2nite w tyler but I dunno I kinda want to chill at home but I want to see tyler so we shall see

This year is ending so fast damn I cant believe it that soon ill be in college and a lot of things will change and a lot of things will stay the same

12:08 am: the high life
friday
tracis bday
michelle,sarah,melissa,jen,traci,brit and i all went to get our nails done after we got out of the limo who didnt know how to drive and is a fucking idiot as well as disgusting old fucks that drive trucks and wish they were young
btw i dont like getting my nails done i think its FUCKING BORING AND GHEEY
then we went to tracis house were we played dress up( where do i throw up) cause we had to get sexed up to go to rubys where we would meet the boys

and traci she reminded me so much of a spoiled brat on her birthday..i was about to tell her to fuck off at one point

dinner was pretty chill......traci adn i ran into thresea from work with her boyfriend and i ran into a guy from myspace so random while we were waitng for a table
finally we ate and it was chill being w george and chillin w mike and wut not
but that was my first meal in 2 weeks i havent really been eating cause i havent been hunry
i wish i went to taste of choas instead but traci is my friend so yea

then i got ree adn tyler which without them i dont kno wut i would have done they are my bestest friends ever
tyler made my nite for sure
then tracis ex a diff tyler came and it was chill seeing him adn geoff stopped by
umm everyone swam but tyler didnt have his boardshorts so i didnt go in plus i was planning on leavin and i didnt wnt to get wet
so ree tyler and i went down to alberts of course i needed my fix u kno


rick has changed for sure

it all changed for me to ....when i met chelsea she has to be the most fucked up girl i know
sat
well i stayed at alberts and chelsea and i bonded and helped him clean up the house
then we went to main street and got some jamba
then we stopped by merveyns to say hi to rick
then we had to find a gas station then we went back to alberts and chilled
then we gas masked it at byrons
then back to alberts
then we got ashley got spencer went to jacquis in irvine and spencer was in orange
i went go to a cdm party where m british boy daniel was at then we went to mats's place then we went to andrews party
then i went back to alberts but rick had passed out and the door was locked
so i went over to the neighboors house and i called ree
who came w jon and they were there for me
i luv u ree
so i got way pissed at rick
albert had just gotten back and felt bad but it was to late
then i tried to sleep adn ignore rick and everyone but mats came over and bothered me
i told him to fuck off
and was bitchy to rick then i took a bed and passed out after smoking
sun
rick n albert woke me up
we just chilled all day besides goin to jack n the box for a fix
then i got fucked over
no car or phone but i know that i will get it back soon and besides im goin out of town anyways

so i got accepted to usc and humbolt and ill go to humbolt for a year adn then usc for the rest if i dont get kicked out
if i do then im going to live at alberts and work while going to gw n occ while becomin a nurse for sure

so 2 paths and i dont care which one it just depends on my moms mood

my heart= miserable and you know when your miserable if you can say that at alberts i didnt think that it was possible to be sad at alberts but it happened to me

eh....stupid rick

i dont even know

10:07 pm: easter.....just another day
lets start with



ONE OF THE BEST DAYS OF MY LIFE
THURSDAY
TODAY I SAW TYLER
he came to my lacrosse game and we talked for so long
but he stil got to class but jen got bored so she chiled in my car
the twins are so cute
it was way chill to see him
the same but grown up and different from the tyler i once knew
then after that i went over to get ree and we went to alberts
of course rick was there
so we smoked in his closet way chill cause linds and jon came too
then i had to leave
fri
not too xcitin
chilled w sarah n traci n jen
sat
went to tracis
tried to work on our project
went to alberts
of course rick james tyler the crew were there
now im offically their gurl
how cute of them lol
so i was way tired
and i smoked which made me more tired
they wanted me to party and i couldnt sleep so wut the hell
ree came w jon and was such a dumb drunk hoe and she had no clue
which was funny and rick was gettin pissed off at her for bein annoyin and for bein a bitch to jon and flirtin w everyone
and he doesnt even kno her
lol at least some ppl get it
i tried to sleep so many times
so many ppl wakin me up n shit
in fact i was up the whole nite and only got mayb 2 hrs o sleep
it was chill though
so tommy wouldnt shut the fuck up
and rick n i wanted to fuckin sleep
eh
im so young compared to them



only 17



anyways its easter
i got bitched at
and there is no significant difference fron anyother day

i respect today though

religion ....thats another topic


tyler called me
and we chilled
<333 my-ty

10:44 pm: meh
so i had an interesting dream
but that i wont share

tues
got out o school at 10
mcgriddleness w jen n ales
met up w linds n victoria
occ senior madness
ran into ash n mich
grouped up w traci brit tayna n sarah
saw daniel
he gave me his numba
that kid makes me laugh so hard i guess its the british accent
cruised
got free stuff
saw the lakes kelly n laura chill w them
saw nadia
cheerleaders sucked same w the presentation they didnt know how to dance
left
went to balboa
it rained
went to lindsays n chilled
then went home n did shit

2day

essay w traci

then went to lacrosse team dinner
tight shit went down
good times at stephs house


confronted

I am going to hang out with tyler 2mro
and hes coming to watch me at our game 2mro
i cant wait for that boy

so rick keeps askin me to have sex with him

i dont kno i cant can i
no

but i dont kno w tyler

madness
we shall see how it goes


stupid aids report for anatomy
plus i have to get traci a present
and wake up early




2mro is goin to b a lloooooooooooong day


lata

01:13 pm: thurs
st paddys day
drunk irish dancing
talked to garrette
cant believe he remembers
ate dinner
fri
went to laX team dinner
got ash
went to andrews party met up w linds jen n victoria
sat
laX game cancelled
went to tracis
went to alberts
chilled w rick n james
ree came w jon
left
sun
workin on report and thinking o future plans


i miss tyler

cant wait for spring break

01:06 pm: quote of the day
from: my mom






"wake up and eat some pancakes you sons o' bitches"



she makes me laugh inside




quote
from: my dad




"your mouth guard bullshit is what started this and has ruined our marriage'

i replied

"dont try to blame it on me you fuck my mouth guard had nothing to do with your neglegence of your marriage for twenty years. Its your fault. Fuck off."

silly parents



and they say im the one thats the most fucked up

07:39 pm: fri
the begining of it all
went to brits
went to cams work
went to fashion w brit and met up w melissa at starbucks yeah the loaf n vanilla steamer
went n got cam
went to cams party at his bros place in the LBC
boring innocent catlins friends showed up
i was a cam whore lol
they were drinking canada dry n soda they made me laugh sooo hard
linds jen n victoria n monica showed up
then random people were there
took shots n hits
cam was wayy gone
we fell on the floor after our quest to look for the internet
either in melissas shirt or down my pants lol
dont worry i put his hand where the internet was which was on his own pants
i mean its cam hes my friend no way id hook up w him
katie got way drunk and camrin passed out on the toliet
so melissa monica linds n i went to dennys got hash browns n french toast yea
then we passed out on the couch
went i woke up cam had his arms around my legs which iwanted back lol
then we cuddle seched it
then they went home
sat
i went to brits
then cocoas
got rick n james n headed to palm springs
yeah
went to chandlers
chilled in teh pool
rick wanted to go search for some poady
so many jokes
then we went on a crazy ass ride my head was in ricks lap lol i was on the consul while brit james n rick were in the back and w no seat belts or doors lol
went to togos
wanted to party in the desert but we ended goin back to HB
went to teh park
went to matties in anaheim talk about sausage lol
so linds jen n victoria were there
mattie is soo funny
then i convienced 2 people they were gay
that was the best part
rick n i teamed up
soo funny
then we went to alberts
so funny james wouldnt shut up
smoked w rick n albert
passed out on couch
and no i didnt hook 'up w cam or rick ok
my-ty<33333 '05
i cant wait

01:18 pm: XXXXXXX CITED
ok im glad everything has worked out almost
minor issue would be money will shall see about how good i am at scamming
and that issue of trust
they really shouldnt trust me this time
but most of the time im good
well besides that
if cam and ree can convience their bosses they can go and im sure they can
but for sure
jen brit rick n james even though i dont really want james to go
im goin to get my car checked just in case
i cant wait to see chandler though its been so long
im def goin to play some lacrosse
lay out in the hot sun
fuck around on the golf courses
pools!!
road trip will be the best eehhh not the traffic though
i hope lindsay can go too
well fri im goin to go to camrins!!party!!
then possible meetin up w andy n kevin
or andrew or rick n them
im glad ill get so see my crew though at least most of them u kno
thenn
sat
going to palm desert to chandlers were the fun will commence
then meetin up w melissa!!! in palm springs
then mayb back to newport
then odd project in corona in sunday w becca and ash and mayb geoff i cant wait


I CANT WAIT
ESP TO SEE TYLER<3333333!! MY-TY<3
i hope he can go road trippin w us
and everyone has a ride thanks to jon luv itt

ahhhh!!

09:21 pm: so this week
its been pretty gheeeeeey and it likes men
except


I GOT A CELL PHONE



highlight of the nongheeyness

my computer is gheey and it doesnt like myspace cause it likes men

my hair is returning to its original color damn the ghey hair

cant wait for the weekend


cause im free and im going on a ROAD TRIP YEAH!!!!!!!!!!!


xcitement

10:42 am: fri
had to escape
went to 1st n 2nd
then ditch and went to chill w brit n cam
a lot of funn
rick n james wanted me to go out and i wanted too
but i couldnt ......gheey parents
sat
lacrosse all day
we didnt do to well until our last game one out of three
which was against thatcher the hardest team
i kicked some ass thats right bitches
then my parents came
why the fuck did they
i thought i wasnt worth the money in gas to drive up to the rosebowl
then i got backstabbed by traci
and she has my precious rings in her car and I WANT THEM BACK
i feel naked w out them

once again the one that got left behind

my mom said i looked like i was going to kill someone which was true

i had so much anger inside of me
i accidently cut myself
my fists where shaking and i wanted to punch through the window
instead i clenched my fists and dug my nails into my hand
to restrain myself
i didnt blink for about an hour
as tears flowed down my face
with an unchanging expression
i would have killed someone that day
we were at gelndale
then we were at garys
finally i arrived home
which i was going to leave
but the parents said to me i was grounded until i graduate haha so funny
never will i let that happen
i am going out next weekend i only stayed home this weekend so i can screw around later
so becca came over
and we did wut i thought i never would do
watch ...throw up....the notebook which wasnt that great i dont understand all that hype i didnt cry it wasnt a sad movie at all

i dont get how guys can cry wtf is wrong w them

then we watched garden state which was very interesting and i liked it

know wonder ken liked the soundtrack so much its good

yea so stayed up till 2
now its sunday and i really dont know how i feel

i have a plan now a definate one as to what i am going to do with my future and it seems to be what i wanted all along

its funny the way the world works

10:13 pm: i guess im expressing anger or rage
im so nice and loving to people
all the time
and wut do i get in return
bitching and hate
the rare times i do complain i get called a bitch
life isnt fair
ill get through it
people love me
blah blah blah
as if i havent heard that a million times before
and much less than how many screams or cussing i recieve
i always go out on a limb for others
no one ever returns the favor




AND ALL OF YOU KNOWS IT TRUE YOU FUCKERS





IM NOT JUST TALKING ABOUT MY PARENTS








how can i experience emotion ive recieved so much verbal + physical abuse that i CANT FEEL anymore

i have wut is called a BLUNTED AFFECT


if someone looked at me now i would kill them in a glance




NOTHING NOTHING NOTHING NOTHING NOTHING NOTHING

09:27 pm: my family is crazy
so my brother goes and finds my myspace.makes up a fuck load of lies.calls from boston and tells the lies to my parents.wut a fucker.where does he get off? Just makin my life worse as if i dont get my daily doseage of bipolar crazy bitchy mom with her verbal abuse.wut the fuck is his problem cant he leave me alone i mean hes in fuckin college thousands of miles away and had free time to fuck me over w his lies.



YOU WILL GET WUTS COMING TO YOU IN THE END SEAN.

ITS ON.


THIS IS WAR.



i want my ty.



FUCK YOU I WONT DO WHAT YOU TELL ME. MOTHER FUCKER.

06:32 pm: friday
chilled w becca
went to spectrum
saw martin n will n some crazed kids
ate.
scared the people at barnes n noble......haha they thought he was going to jump
left
went to lindsays
got wasted
i was good
rick took care of me
it was fun
cam n victoria were there i missed them
andrew showed up
chad is pissed at me
cause i didnt hook up w him and he thought i did w rick
sorry boys i didnt
only want ty
sat
went over to andys w ree
kevin showed up
went home
went out
blacked out
sun
ty is all i want

03:40 pm: freakin idiot
thurs
chilled w ree n ash
chilled w linds
hung out w rick n james
wow that music crazy kids n jamen
chilled w ryan n geoff
chilled w andrew,jon,n chad.
brian got puled over by the cops such sweet irony i luv the way the world works
he got wut was coming to him
fri
i realized thanks to some adivce adn questioning from airica
that
all this nonsense of hook up is meaningless
i like to party and meet new people though
the curse of the hypocrtic gemini
it all comes down to nothing

ive already found my boy

tyler morgan i luv u always and forever
just talking to you today makes me smile the rest away
whenever im w u im happy
u always make me laugh
and get through the hard things
u always are there to listen
you always answer ur phone
ur always ever so polite
god knows how much ive missed u
i cant wait to go over sunday since you have to be with ur boys on saturday
im so glad we found each other and thats all that matters
<3T<3Y<3L<3E<3R I<3u

02:09 pm: lets see tuesday
hung out w linds
we went to go pay our tickets together in teh rain
fuck the city making poor teenagers pay
went to see hide and seek
once again a disappointment it wasnt scary
mats called us to smoke but he passed out before we could go there
we went to go get ice cream in the rain
met up w ryan goeff n david
screwed around at geoffs
went to andrews
was a lil bitchy to brit and linds
sorry girls
watched the saw
weds
saw ryan n david and james
did absolutly nothing i was soooooooooooooo bored and depressed

12:08 pm: i cant believe i
so yeah i was with mats today
all day
at my house
alone
enough said
linds came down
we chilled
parents came home early
close call if u know wut i mean
but i told them shit and it worked
i didnt go out
russ called me and ree and linds all within a minute of each other
crazy
i felt weird
i only want to b friends w mats i mean we have hooked up before and he was hitting on me on saturday
and on monday
i told him off on saturday
but i was bored so i didnt on monday
and i guess we are just friends that can do that shit and we dont care